 I feel like a big fresh start is in the air, unfortunately for me my husband knows that this is a monthly occurance. It therefore does not hold a strong significance. I have a couple of things that I can’t stop thinking about this freshstart: that I might need to develop my discipline skills and also that I need to spend some time with my thoughts away from all the noise of my life at work and at home. To dissappear and spend time with my thoughts. Early this year at Tedex Auckland I saw Bob Harvey (who once was the Mayor of Waitakere City council) speak, the most memorable part of his talk was his challenge to all of us to spend time with our thoughts. His special place was Bethells Beach a beautiful West Auckland beach. I can’t stop thinking about this, but the noise from my routine, emails, family and work does not give me the space I need. I have recently begun to meditate and spend quiet time either in the morning before my day starts or in the evening before my day ends trying to find space. I find it rather hard to switch my mind off from all the thoughts racing in my head. I have spent many hours with my lovely friend Anna who has been kind enough to share her blog with me talking these thoughts out loud over and over. I find myself currently full of ideas but struggling to activate, almost paralyzed. I am hoping this blog may help me actually process some of these ideas I have racing around in my head instead of just mulling them over and over. Hopefully I might discover some important learnings in the process, as well as move forward instead of going round and round in circles. So here I am faced with these two challenges which roll over and over in my mind and I fail to feel progress on…. Here I sit making a plan of how I might actually move forward by planning to take some quiet time out, to work out where to from here. I have always been fond of the sea air and as I am in Auckland the most beautiful city in the world with so many beautiful beaches to visit I will begin a plan to vist each one of them to spend time with my thoughts. Wikipedia describles discipline as ‘Suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with restraint and self-control. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation.’ I am not wishing to use discipline negatively but as a positive notion for changing my behavior, like when I come home tired and disillusioned about work, do the evening routine with the family but then find myself blobbing in bed with my friend TV on demand wasting the evening away so that I am not alone with my thoughts, and then another day comes. I feel I need a little discipline to replace some of my bad routines and get some goodness flowing in my life again. The type of discipline I am seeking is best explained in my hobbie gardening – I am a weekend garden who prays for it to rain as I rarely find time to water the plants I plant. The most difficult thing I find is the getting out in the garden bit, so I have begun this routine on the weekend telling myself to just pull one weed, then its 10mins worth of weeds then I find my self wanting to fininsh one section of the garden and before I know it I really want the whole garden weeded. I truely believe our bodies were built for a bit of manual labour. The satisfaction I feel at the end, the sleep I have the night after, the feeling of sunshine on my skin and fresh air… What I am seeking is that trigger, a little bit of motivation. But as motivation is a very hard thing to do when every part of your body is wanting to do the thing you usually do I feel it is discipline I now seek to help me solve this problem. I hope that the quiet times I have at the beach might help me work thru the sheer volume of information I have floating in my mind, and that my new relationship with disicipline might help me break some bad habits and build some good ones. Here is my first attempt at disicpline, this blog and my relationship with it. I need it and maybe it needs me too. I have dreams of what this might become but for now I am just looking to begin my journey. Heres to fresh starts! What is it that you dream of doing but just can’t find the motivation for?? Kate 
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